Q&A: My military boyfriend is being deployed and I’m very scared

Hi Maj,

I’m a 21 year old woman who’s just been informed that my military boyfriend is being deployed with his unit.

We’ve only known each other for a year.

I’m very frightened about it all and worry that we’ll move apart.

Also very scared that something will happen to him.

I’m really having a crisis!

Can you give me some advice?

By the way we just moved in together and I’m scared it’ll be really lonely without him.

Best,
Louise

My military boyfriend is being deployed and I'm very scared

Q&A: My military boyfriend is being deployed and I’m very scared!

Dear Louise,

Thank you for your email.

I feel your pain and fear. My husband is also a soldier and I’ve experienced a deployment firsthand.

Yes, it’s tough!

The toughest part is actually the thoughts you keep thinking and not so much what’s really going on.

Usually the various armed forces have forums and chatrooms for relatives.

I’ll recommend that you find those and chat with other women and relatives of deployed personnel.

If you’re able to, set aside your fear of something happening to him and you’ll see that it’s actually incredible what such a deployment can do for a relationship.

Use it for personal growth!

You can get SO much closer emotionally because you’re going through something very deep and intense together.

Right now you should schedule girls’ weekends, invite your siblings or your grandmother for dinner.

See this as an opportunity and you’ll see the possibilities.

It’s way more constructive than curling up on the couch crying and feeling sorry for yourself.

That will only make the situation much worse, for you and for your boyfriend who has to leave. He should be able to go feeling clear-minded so that he can do his job well and stay safe.

Map out a plan dear Louise, for how you want to spend those next 6 months of your life.

Maybe it’s taking a course, learning to belly dance or to have a regular movie night out on your own and then mail a synopsis of each movie to your boyfriend.

You can also spend your time making him gifts, sexy pictures and love letters to send.

You can find many good tips in this really good blogpost and list <—

If all else fails you can always call me for a non-committal talk.

Maj Wismann on having a military boyfriend is being deployed

Love,
Maj Wismann – Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Therapist with own clinic since 2006 – Read more about Maj here <—

 

 

 

Read more about relationship and love:

► Happy couples – Here’s a surprising fact you did not know! ←

► Marriage and How Your Spouse Affects Your Health ←

White Lies – My boyfriend lies to me all the time ←

 

****Have you been in a situation like this girl with a military boyfriend? Have you experienced your partner being deployed? Please share your experiences (and lessons) in the comments below. Remember, your comment might help someone else! And as always, thank you for sharing.

Please do remember that emotional infidelity is a very vulnerable topic, so please keep your words positive and loving. Thank you. Please remember to keep a nice tone. ALL negative comments will be deleted immediately. I wish to create a positive and supporting space where we can support each other, and I therefore have a zero-tolerance policy towards rudeness, condescension, negative inputs and disrespect.

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