Relationship crisis in the summertime – Here´s what to avoid!
5 Steps to Create an Unforgettable Summer without Relationship Crisis
Oh, how we dream of the summer!
If you are a little like me, I bet you also imagine children smiling and playing with each other at the beach, a fab husband who looks handsome and asks you, while his fingers caressing your neck while you purr affectionately: “Honey, would you like a cold drink?”
Maybe you dream of small candles on the patio and the kids sleeping sweetly (and long into the morning).
While you have deep, emotional and romantic talks until the sun goes down.
And naturally he offers to take the children in the morning, cook breakfast and take them out to play so you have the house all to yourself all morning.
Maaaaajjjj…Please wake up…Wake up Maj!
Just dreaming again.
The reality is that August is the second biggest month for divorce, because so many relationship experience big crisis during the summer vacation.
Why is that?
It does not have to be that way!
Here are my top 5 tips to help you and your partner have a great vacation together without arguing, emotional stress, relationship crisis and in worst case divorce - but with lots of love, sweet kisses and hugs.
1. Talk about your expectations and be responsive to what your partner wants
What would you REALLY like to do?
Do you want your vacation with or even without your partner?
It is quite okay to want a little time alone.
You can, of course, reciprocate by offering your partner three days of fishing, woodworking, or whatever he would love doing.
We all need to get some time alone and replenish our energy doing something we just love to do.
Even when we're in a relationship.
And what do you want the two of you to do together?
What does your partner like?
Can you somehow meet each other halfway?
2. Bring it up if it feels like frustrations are sneaking up on you!
Be honest and also listen to what your partner tells you.
You must not discuss whether what they tell you is true or not.
You merely have to try to understand the frustrations.
Even if you don't understand them, you can still try to accommodate and help your love to be less frustrated.
Ask: “What can I do for you?”
The more you do this, the better the chances that you will be asked the same.
3. Cultivate love
Put a post-it note on the bathroom mirror or inside your closet door.
Set a reminder on your phone every day to ask yourself “What can I do today to help my partner feel loved?”
A holiday where you feel that your partner is making you feel loved and happy makes for a peaceful summer vacation.
And yes, feeling loved and happy gives ALL members of the family a sweet feeling of peace.
This is something you can work on intentionally - Every day.
4. Get into the mood BEFORE vacation starts
It takes up to 7-14 days for most people to get into “holiday mode.”
This means that many people are restless and stressed for the first days.
They’re irritable and can't figure out what to do with their time.
Use the week leading up to the holidays to relax as much as possible, go to bed earlier, or see a good movie instead of sitting with the computer at night.
Try find some inner peace and allow the body to get into “vacation mode.”
I promise, things will get MUCH easier when the first vacation day starts if you are already in a peaceful state of mind and your body is relaxed.
5. Boost sensuality
Are we talking about sex?
No, no, no!
I'm talking about intimacy.
I doesn't have to be about sex.
You can hug and kiss more, go to bed earlier and cuddle with a good book or movie.
Maybe one night you can give each other massages and end with five minutes of romantic kissing.
n some cases it leads to sex, maybe it doesn't - but it’s nice, the time is spend well and it brings you closer together.
Take good care of yourself out there in the summer heat (or rain like in Denmark).
Maj Wismann – Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Therapist with own clinic since 2006 - Read more about Maj here <---
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*** How are you maneging the summer holiday relationship crisis? Have you experienced your partner having problems with the shift from job to holiday? Maybe you even feel right now that it is affecting your relationship and vacation? Please share your experiences (and lessons) in the comments below. Remember, your comment might help someone else! And as always, thank you for sharing.
Please do remember that relationship issues are very vulnerable topics, so please keep your words positive and loving. Thank you. Please remember to keep a nice tone. ALL negative comments will be deleted immediately. I wish to create a positive and supporting space where we can support each other, and I therefore have a zero-tolerance policy towards rudeness, condescension, negative inputs and disrespect.