Q&A: How do I survive a breakup?

Hi Maj, How do I survive a breakup? I've completely lost faith that I'll ever have a good life without my wonderful ex-boyfriend, how do I move on? My daily life has completely stopped and I have no energy to do anything anymore. I don't feel any joy and strongly doubt whether I'll ever be able to love again. Can you please help me back on track??? Regards, Mariee  

How do I survive a breakup?

  Hi Mariee, Hmm… sigh! It's so tough to feel so bad. Let's see if we can't do something about that. If you haven't already, you need to start making the required lists right now. Make a list of all his faults and issues. Reason being that when you've been dumped you often only remember ALL the good things. And that's fine but it you need a balanced perspective so the other side needs some light on it as well. Then you need to start living your life again, slowly but steadily. As long as you're lying on the couch crying you won't move on but since you're already there you might want to take a break and read some books. How do I survive a breakup?  

How to survive a breakup - 3 good books to read!

I recommend: ► "He's Just Not That Into You" ► "Are You The One For Me?" And last but not least: ► "Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts" Go ahead and lie on the couch, mending your wounds because that's where you are right now. Decide that Damn it: "It's ok to use the next 8 weeks to grieve and go voer the relationship." Think about your role and his role in its demise and about what guy you want to be with in the future. Also, once a week, you HAVE to go to the movies by yourself. So that you learn to do stuff on your own and simply to get out into the world and live a little. Believe me, it's way easier the third time than the first. And write a diary! At least 3 pages every day and then glue the pages together. They're not for re-reading. Write and write till you get sick of writing the same things over and over again. Maj Wismann about how to Survive a breakupLove, Maj Wismann – Clinical sexologist and relationthip therapist with own clinic since 2006 - Read more about Maj here <---          

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*** Have you tried anything like her and have you cracked the code on how to survive a breakup? What did you learn from your latest breakup? Please share your experiences (and lessons) in the comments below. Remember, your comment might help someone else! And as always, thank you for sharing.

Please do remember that relationship & sex life issues are very vulnerable topics, so please keep your words positive and loving. Thank you. Please remember to keep a nice tone. ALL negative comments will be deleted immediately. I wish to create a positive and supporting space where we can support each other, and I therefore have a zero-tolerance policy towards rudeness, condescension, negative inputs and disrespect.

 

2 Comments

  1. Henrik V Blunck

    First of sll, thsnks for a good blogpost. It would be interesting to read once Marlee has followed your advice, read the books and done the homework. 🙂

    We’ve all been there, and contrary to what many claim, breakups don’t get easier as you get older. Often, relationships have a deeper level to them when you do open up towards another person. However, you are so right when you have to step out of the woe-is-me attitude, and into learning from what went wrong.

    Love is never about who was ‘more right’ than the other, but about not letting old habits move into new relationships – and a hugely important part of ensuring that is being honest with ourselves.

    We can move on to better relationships once we are honest about these things, even though we might also appear a little cold when we DO tell someone off when we see negative signs much sooner in a relationship.

    We all have flaws, and seeing yourself as others would has huge potential for personal development, even though the process can be painful – even humiliating – but the end-result is to die for (in the figurative sense), because you do learn to be more zen about yourself. A future partner will benefit from this…

    Still curious about Marlee once you get her feedback, though. 🙂

    Reply
  2. Henrik V Blunck

    I do apologize for the misprints. I recently updated to another keyboard, and forgot to proofread before I hit submit. Well, I’m sure most will understand anyway. 🙂

    Reply

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