2 Classic reasons why he loses his desire
It’s time for you to learn and understand something about male desire and libido!
Desire in men is actually not that different from women’s as many people think.
Just like women’s desire and libido, men’s ALSO affected by different factors.
And there’s always at least ONE reason as to why it vanishes.
Besides there being many “common reasons” why desire disappears, there are also reasons that relate to men and women.
In women, for example, such a reason could be breastfeeding.
Because breastfeeding lowers the dopamine levels in the brain.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that has a huge effect on our pleasure centre which controls things like our desire.
For instance our desire to:
- kiss and cuddle
- read a book
- go to see a movie
- seek out the things you like to spend time on
Here’s the thing about men’s libido.
A lot of us (men and women) don’t think that the male libido can be affected negatively.
But we see that this isn’t true at all when we experience it.
When your husband suddenly stops initiating sex and turns you down when you initiate sex and you realize that it’s been weeks since you had sex.
When his loss of lust knocks on the door, we have absolutely no clue what to do. Who do you talk to? Who knows something about this? It’s not normal or is it? There must be something really wrong. The man thinks there’s something’s wrong with him. Maybe the wife thinks there’s something wrong with her.
For years we’ve been told that, men:
- always desire
- think about sex 8 times per minute
- are always “ready”
- need sex M-U-C-H more than women (and yes, that is sometimes the case)
- don’t care about love as long as they can get laid
There are SO many myths, SO much BS and SO few facts being talked about when it comes to men’s libido.
I was recently interviewed on Danish radio about men’s libido and the two classic reasons as to why their desire disappears.
These are the classic reasons I often see in my practice. There are many other reasons why the male libido disappears but I wanted to share these particular reasons with you.
1. There is no longer an emotional connection.
This applies to both men and women’s loss of lust and libido.
We all want a deep emotional connection with our partners. And when this need is not being met, it can cause havoc.
For many people this is really hard to talk about because we are afraid:
- to hurt each other
- of being JUDGED
- of being turned down because of our feelings
- and so on…
If you can’t open up about your feelings and thoughts and go “deep” with each other, then you risk exacerbating the lack of emotional connection between you.
A basic human need not being met.
But there’s more at play!
2. Belly fat kills the desire over time
Numerous studies both in the US and abroad show that the more body fat a man has stored in his belly, the lower his testosterone level.
Testosterone is a gender specific hormone.
If it is low in males, then the brain gets confused and starts to mess things up with all the other gender specific hormones. And that’s when the issues with desire rear their ugly heads.
Please promise me to you’ll keep in mind that whether you’re a man or a woman, there’s ALWAYS at least one perfectly logical reason why your desire has disappeared.
There is NOTHING wrong with you.
I promise you, that your body reacts just as it’s supposed to.
And if it bothers you, your job is to find out why and do something about it.
Take good care of you, your life and your desire.
Maj Wismann – Clinical sexologist and relationship therapist since 2006
I would R-E-A-L-L-Y like to hear about your experiences about this topic.
HELP me break this taboo.
So please let me know if you’ve experienced your husband or partner losing his desire or if you’re a man who’s experienced or is experiencing loss of desire.
And if you have gone through this and found a solution, please do share that as well.
Read more about desire, libido and lust?